Screwdriver Savant Gifts

I did it my way.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

Where was I?

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

Trawling for Fish.

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

"I recently upgraded my resume-writing software."

'You sure you've got Photoshop experiance.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Why Icarus Flew Too Close To The Sun

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'I wrote a software program and sold it for two million dollars.'

Canadian Jesus

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

The Computer takes a drinks break.

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Tech may be shaking things up a bit but I don't see technology as a threat..."

Mammon Industries - "He says his name is Billy and he's here to update our software."

'You'll have to excuse my date. He's still in beta.'

"Profession?"

Workers cross boundaries to get an energy supply.

'He's not under yet.'

"You are going to pay for stealing my text editor! You have my Word!"

Great customer care is not optional.

"Today, in Metalwork, we learned how to cut a slit in the heads of screws."