Saw Savant Gifts

"Blah blah blah. . ."

I did it my way.

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Golf lessons

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

Trawling for Fish.

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

Why Icarus Flew Too Close To The Sun

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

Self-portraits

Fireman chasing the olympic flame.

''Solar energy'? -- like I don't do enough for the little twerps already!'

Canadian Jesus

"Have you considered the consequences? It's a very slippery slope."

"Those aren't just any old doodles, Ms. Jones, they're notes for my graphic novel!"

"Frankly, I think they've been completely obnoxious ever since they went solar."

Electric motorcycles catch fire in Cuba

Falls at work.

Consumer Safety Testing Lab. Bake-it Toy Oven. We have lots of work to do --- Now get the lead out!

"Profession?"

'We're going solar power all the way!'

"Today, in Metalwork, we learned how to cut a slit in the heads of screws."

"They're fake. Part of the new false sense of security system."

Relay racers passing money instead of baton.

You can put an end to all your phobias by investing in the germ and radiation proof 'kiddysafe'.

'Larry, that tie is not your friend.'

"Attitude-and what attitude would that be, Modom?"