Sword Savant Gifts

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

Golf lessons

'Frank, when was the last time you cleaned your gun?'

East End Maps.

Trawling for Fish.

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

"Is that neat whisky?"

Pub Kendo.

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

Swords for Making America Great Again

Scheduel.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

Fencing Lessons

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

'Just a minute, I forgot something.'

Battle.

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with!'

"Did you enter the correct password?"

'ON GUARD!' 'Touche.'

"Who's going to carve?"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"