Spider Savant Gifts

'This marriage proposal is quite flattering, but why exactly are you called a 'Black Widow'?'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'Steeee-rike three!'

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

Old pumpkin spice

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"Those are all my passwords."

"Young man, don't you ever add pepper to my soup again!"

'We like to make full use of the space.'

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

A house is full of signs directing where things are stored.

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

'My old friend here, Hiro, is opening a chain of sushi bars exclusively for lawyers. It's called Sosumi.'

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

Sporting World God: And on the seventh day he stitched up the television broadcast rights.

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...

Jesus Saves

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

José Mário dos Santos Mourinho Félix

Relay racers passing money instead of baton.

Clancy Strip: At the Suit Sale

Sushi

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

'Larry, that tie is not your friend.'

'Scroll down a little...'

' No, it's 'I' before 'E', except after 'C'!'