Spider Savant Pillows

'This marriage proposal is quite flattering, but why exactly are you called a 'Black Widow'?'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'Steeee-rike three!'

Old pumpkin spice

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

"Young man, don't you ever add pepper to my soup again!"

'We like to make full use of the space.'

"Those are all my passwords."

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

Sporting World God: And on the seventh day he stitched up the television broadcast rights.

A house is full of signs directing where things are stored.

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'My old friend here, Hiro, is opening a chain of sushi bars exclusively for lawyers. It's called Sosumi.'

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

"It's not a first edition, but it's from Moses' workshop."

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

Jesus Saves

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

Relay racers passing money instead of baton.

Sushi

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

Clancy Strip: At the Suit Sale

'Larry, that tie is not your friend.'

'Scroll down a little...'

' No, it's 'I' before 'E', except after 'C'!'

Man zips up a computer.