Scalpel Enthusiast Gifts

'I love working on these lawyers. They only have two parts, their mouths and their rears...and those are interchangeable.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Decapitated coffee.

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

The Sculptor

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

Anatomy.

Ted never got used to hitchhikers on November 2nd, the Day of the Dead.

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

Spring Cleaning

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.