Knife Enthusiast Gifts

Explorers come across knife sharpening business in jungle.

The Sharpest thing there is: Christ's Pocket Knife

"Don't let it bother you. The doctor told my wife it would keep her mind sharp if she learned a new skill."

'This will only hurt for a moment.'

'It's called a kukri and they never sheath them without drawing blood, you know.'

'I'm a butcher by trade.'

HEAD CHEF - A chef collects the heads of the chefs that rank below him.

A chef uses a giant utensil to chop a tiny sausage.

"This is a silencerfor my dagger..."

Looking Daggers

'It's a Joan Biro.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

Je Suis Charlie

Penguins in the form of writing Pens

A man crosses a fountain pen bridge to reach books.

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"Al Gore happens to be a friend of mine."

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"Now now, what have I told you about using your zombie knife at the dinner table..."

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"This next song I just wrote, and it's called 'I Hate Fountain Pens.'"

"Oprah is definite, Barnes and Noble is giving you front windows, and Norman Mailer has agreed to a feud."

Murderous Chef

Indian snake charmer charms a snake.

"It's okay. The chainsaw runs on biofuel."

'It's Jopnes Sir! He's showing off his ballpoint pen again!'

Spilled Ink

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Columbus At Home...'A Spoon!'

How to write