Sheriff At Heart Gifts

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'I'd like to report a peeping tom.'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

The Lawman

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"But we've been interviewing like this for years...why would we want to change now?"

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Sheriff.

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

Gun Ego

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

The modern sheriff.

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

Investigating Yourself

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

'You two gun Billy one leg the bandit?'

"What?"

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'

'They say he came to clean up the town.'

"Don't even think about it, cowboy."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

Uh-oh!

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."