Sheriffs Gifts

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

The Marshall and his deputy form a human barrier against the stpread of unlimited socialist internet service providers.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

The Lawman

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

Sheriff.

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Gun Ego

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

The modern sheriff.

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

'You two gun Billy one leg the bandit?'

"Don't even think about it, cowboy."

I could clean up this town if I could keep my gun belt on.

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'

Uh-oh!