Sheriffs Gifts

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Distrust of the Trust Act

The Marshall and his deputy form a human barrier against the stpread of unlimited socialist internet service providers.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

The Lawman

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

Sheriff.

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

The modern sheriff.

Investigating Yourself

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Gun Ego

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'

'They say he came to clean up the town.'

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

'You two gun Billy one leg the bandit?'

"What?"