Subway Sheriffs Gifts

"You ain't gettin' on this train until I get off first."

QUINTUPLE BYPASSES EXPLAINED.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

The Lawman

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

"About time they did something about the rats!"

Sheriff.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

The modern sheriff.

Gun Ego

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

Cool Z enters his minimalist period.

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

"Sheriff, with these little blue pills they won't be calling you Deadwood Dick any longer."

'They say he came to clean up the town.'

Uh-oh!

'What about high noon? Is high noon good for you?'

'You two gun Billy one leg the bandit?'

"What?"

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

I could clean up this town if I could keep my gun belt on.

"Don't even think about it, cowboy."