Mini Sheriff Gifts

'-But,son they couldn't put a horse in a box THAT size, could they?

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'You must all promise never to divulge what you are about to see.'

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

The Lawman

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Who stole my candy?

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Sheriff.

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Investigating Yourself

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

Gun Ego

The modern sheriff.

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."