Mini Superhero Gifts

'You must all promise never to divulge what you are about to see.'

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

The Hobby Store

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

"Better luck next time, kid."

A young positivist.

"They're being very good. They're playing superheroes!"

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

'Nice Header, Lauren!'

Even Superheroes Are Always On Their Phones

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

Who stole my candy?

"Houston, we have a problem!"

"Face it -- you resent me for the exploring in depth a world that you take for granted."

Bonsai Exhibit

'I distinctly remember saying 'No Starch'.'

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

Gullboy and Pigeonman

"I'm not very scary now, but I will be if I don't get candy."

"Aquaman, it's great that you have these aquatic powers, but I wish you also didn't sh*t like a fish."

'I hate to break this to you, Clark, but your buns of steel have turned to jello.'

"It seems our precious three year old hacked into the White House with his playtime computer!"

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'I know you needed a career change, Dear, but we were doing so much better when you were an accountant!'

"She's always been a quick learner."