Sheriff Storyteller Gifts

well pardner, don;t ever have your nose itch during a shootout.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'She's just great with the children.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

"You dropped yer wallet."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

The Lawman

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Sheriff.

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

The modern sheriff.

Gun Ego

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."