Sheriff Storyteller Gifts

well pardner, don;t ever have your nose itch during a shootout.

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

'She's just great with the children.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"You dropped yer wallet."

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

The Lawman

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Sheriff.

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

Investigating Yourself

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

Gun Ego

The modern sheriff.

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun