Sheep Rancher Gifts

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Sheep.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

EWE 2.

Support group for sheep.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

Sheep Ledger

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Going Down?

"It's harder to 'lead from the middle' than I thought."

"You can always count on me."

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

The Lawman

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'

A Gated Community.

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

Sheepdog Security

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'