Sheep Rancher Gifts

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Sheep.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Support group for sheep.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

Sheep Ledger

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Going Down?

"It's harder to 'lead from the middle' than I thought."

"You can always count on me."

A Gated Community.

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

The Lawman

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'