Sheep Ranching Gifts

Shear Poetry

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

New Guy.

EWE 2.

"They're comfortable."

Support group for sheep.

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Motorherd

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

Sheep Ledger

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

"The new house is almost ready!"

"Static cling."

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'Mama! Aliens.'

Sick Rancher Humor