Sheep Ranching Gifts

Shear Poetry

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

New Guy.

"They're comfortable."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Support group for sheep.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Motorherd

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

Sheep Ledger

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"Static cling."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

"The new house is almost ready!"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'Mama! Aliens.'

Going Down?

Sick Rancher Humor

Cow duel.

The Not So Wild West

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"