Sheep Jokester Gifts

'That's What Sheep Said.'

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

Cleaning the Horse

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

COWS: Spare cow

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

'It's a quarter-to-three and there's no one in the place except ewe and me.'

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

Turkey with an ax to grind.

'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'

'He's a great dog...a bit of a drooler though.'

'Harland, we want a divorce.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

'Ok Phil, you can stop the trash talk now!'

Dog spelled backward is GOD, cat is TAC, a pain in the butt.

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

Rider Helping Horse Over the Jump

Sheep Road Block