Sheep Comedist Gifts

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

Bubble Gum Farms.

Motorherd

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

A cow ventriloquist.

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Snowman carrot substitute.

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'I'll have to skip lunch. If I don't have 3 bags full on the boss's desk by 5:00...:

Sheepdog Security

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree

"The human is back - act normal."

"Okay, okay - next time I'll spring the trap and you grab the cheese."

"Can I barrow your pen?"

"Did you just tweet?"

God builds the first lawn mower.

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

Lambo

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

"I can't wait to see the look on their faces."