Sheepish Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'We're all due this week and heard health clinics are paying big bucks for our placentas.'

'Honey, did you happen to look behind you, before you walked through that door?'

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

EWE 2.

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

Sheep Ledger

"Static cling."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Rogue elephant

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

Going Down?

"Try to blame that one on the dog."

Vulture proclaims its love for highways.

"It's harder to 'lead from the middle' than I thought."

"You can always count on me."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

Swine flu

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

Sheepdog Security

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

Unsure of the correct answer, Teddy looks around and then discreetly pulls out his cheat sheep.