Sheepish Storyteller Gifts

'I bin treatin' her myself...took a course in vetinery once...

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Merry Christmas.

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

The Lawman

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"What should I say this is about?"

"It's an entry-level position, but I was assured it would just be for a few years."

'Keep hiding guys, Bo Peep is still looking for us...'

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

The young Shepherd was determined to show the flock who was the boss!

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

Extreme Sheepherding

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

Billy was conflicted and confused.

'I never did a pregnancy exam on a ewe before.'

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

"He spoils them."

"It's a working lunch."

Shall we go into the pen? Or stay here and annoy him for another 10 minutes?

'Abandon Sheep.'