Sheepish Storyteller Gifts

'I bin treatin' her myself...took a course in vetinery once...

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Merry Christmas.

'Rex! Have you been counting the sheep again?'

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

The Lawman

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

"What should I say this is about?"

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

'Keep hiding guys, Bo Peep is still looking for us...'

Extreme Sheepherding

'Nobody move. I just dropped a contact lens.'

The young Shepherd was determined to show the flock who was the boss!

"It's an entry-level position, but I was assured it would just be for a few years."

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

"It's a working lunch."

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

'I never did a pregnancy exam on a ewe before.'

"He spoils them."

Shall we go into the pen? Or stay here and annoy him for another 10 minutes?

'Abandon Sheep.'