Sheepish Stylist Gifts

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Great, just great! School photos are tomorrow..."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

"It's an entry-level position, but I was assured it would just be for a few years."

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

Library Waiting to Happen

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

'Put together beautifully. . . all you need now is some books.'

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

Sheep Fishing

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

One of their favourite games was to pull the wool over their eyes.

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making Ewe talk.'

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

Dogs as bookends.

'I have no idea how many I have in my flock. Every time I start counting them I fall asleep.'

I did it my way.

Sheep eye test: Bah bah bah...

'I'm just adding to my collection of figurines.'

When you mentioned a t-shaped bracket...