Sheepish Stylist Gifts

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Great, just great! School photos are tomorrow..."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

"The school district is great and I love the layout - I'm just not sure the mud is gooey enough."

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

"It's an entry-level position, but I was assured it would just be for a few years."

"Darling! - did you know your books are crooked...?"

"I just love what you've done with the place!"

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

'Excuse me. Could you point me towards the books that would look impressive on my bookshelf?'

Nicky Clarke sheep shearer

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

'Put together beautifully. . . all you need now is some books.'

Book Store. I'm looking for a book on remodeling kitchen cabinets. Ah --- A "shelf-improvement" book!

Library Waiting to Happen

'Every year I say, 'Just a little of the top' but they never listen.'

Sheep Fishing

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making Ewe talk.'

"Well, from what I heard, he was a dog-groomer before he became a shearer..."

One of their favourite games was to pull the wool over their eyes.

'Wow, you got Bob! Lucky you, he's definitely the best shearer around!'

Dogs as bookends.

'I have no idea how many I have in my flock. Every time I start counting them I fall asleep.'

I did it my way.

Sheep eye test: Bah bah bah...

Sheep Road Block