Sheep Comedist Pillows

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

Motorherd

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

"Static cling."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

A cow ventriloquist.

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

Snowman carrot substitute.

Sheepdog Security

'I'll have to skip lunch. If I don't have 3 bags full on the boss's desk by 5:00...:

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

God builds the first lawn mower.

"Did you just tweet?"

"The human is back - act normal."

Sheep with its wool unwinding because it's snagged on a tree

"I can't wait to see the look on their faces."

"Okay, okay - next time I'll spring the trap and you grab the cheese."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

"Can I barrow your pen?"

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

Lambo

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."