Equestrian Jokester Gifts

A rider only just missing a jump

"Horses? What horses?"

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

A pony throws its rider.

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

The Enemy

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

Cleaning the Horse

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

A Few Common Ailments

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

Horse accidents

Journalist Interviewing a Fallen Rider.

"Yes, you show signs of depression, but there may be a simple explanation: does your cowboy listen to a lot of country music?"

"Boy, this is the life: For a bit of riding every day, we get fed, pampered and groomed..."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Grooming: Make sure your pony is securely tied.

'Argh! This itching is driving me crazy!'

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Grump Horse and Rider

Riding School Accidents

Probable result of the Cochin China Fowl mania.

"...and begin."

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'