Sheep Herder Humor Gifts

I'll come by Friday to pay the bill.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Sheep Ledger

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

'When you said 'See ewe in my office' sir, I thought...'

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

Sheep Escalator

'How are the cloning experiments of shepherds going?'

The young Shepherd was determined to show the flock who was the boss!

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"Get the flock out of here!"

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

Shepherd buying a shepherd's pie.

Sheep-farts contribute to global warming...

'Darlin' Bluebell, now that they've accepted Brokeback Mountain I think our time is comin'...'

'Plastic bags, dogs, dogs behind gates, strange smells, pigs, strange noises...heck! It would be quicker to tell you what doesn't spook me!'

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

'I was going to hunt for them. Then I thought hey - why not just clone new ones!'

Oh yeah, that's right. Now everyone wants to know the radiator cow.

'Let's go and lean against one of the vibrators.'

Will work for grass

"I told you not to give them a bath in hot water!"

"We only need to slaughter one more - grab that one."

'I'm good with sheep. . .'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making Ewe talk.'

The Flock

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

'I have no idea how many I have in my flock. Every time I start counting them I fall asleep.'

Sheep eye test: Bah bah bah...

Sheep Road Block