Sheep Counters Gifts

'Insomniacs wanted for sheep census...'

Dreams.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

Support group for sheep.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

Sheep Ledger

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Going Down?

"It's harder to 'lead from the middle' than I thought."

"You can always count on me."

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'

A cow ventriloquist.

A Gated Community.

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Sheepdog Security

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

Virgin wool - 'Clippers On a first date What kind of ewe do you think I am'