Sheep Counters T-Shirts

'Insomniacs wanted for sheep census...'

Dreams.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

EWE 2.

Support group for sheep.

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

Sheep Ledger

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"Static cling."

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Going Down?

"It's harder to 'lead from the middle' than I thought."

"You can always count on me."

'So when the bottom fell out of sheep shearing I had to find something else...'

A cow ventriloquist.

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'

A Gated Community.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

First there were virtual-pets. Now there are virtual owners and ranchers.

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

A sheep ordering in a restaurant - the sole item on the menu is grass.

Sheepdog Security

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."