Sheep Counting Gifts

Man trying to get to sleep by counting cloned sheep.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

EWE 2.

Support group for sheep.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Sheep Ledger

"Here we go again. Look at me everybody....I'm a cloud."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"Static cling."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

Going Down?

"It's harder to 'lead from the middle' than I thought."

"You can always count on me."

A Gated Community.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

'I'm banging out some bitchin' bleats!'

"Don't stress. My philosophy has always been 'ewe be ewe.''"

A cow ventriloquist.

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

The Lawman

The Uterus in the form of a Ewe

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

The Shepherd's Staff. . .

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

Sheepdog Security