Sex Ed Satirist Gifts

'What's up with your mum's stomach?'

Ethics exam cheater.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

The Female Brain and The Other One

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"...And you get hazardous pay for study hall periods."

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'Think Basics.'

"You have to not only show your answer, you have to show how you got your answer."

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

"Grandma, this is now how some schools say obey the rules."

Remembering the words of his 8th grade Algebra teacher, Moose bought his old middle school and made a mockery out of it.

Before birds and bees,

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

'The secret to great abs? Marker pen.'

Medical School

'This homework is a disgrace. I'd like a note from your computer.'

"He's not here to keep someone from breaking in. He's here to keep students from breaking out!"