Safe Sex Satirist Gifts

'Just the one, thanks.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

New arrival

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Safety Barriers

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

"What's a condom for?"

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

'I baked it especially for you.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Security at the Smaller Airports

Cautious photojournalist.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'. . . You seem to have a strange obsession with shyness and safe sex. . .'

Living life dangerously 2010.

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'