Health & Safety Satirist Gifts

"What's the Chef's Surprise Sir? Well, he's VERY surprised his kitchen has just survived a visit from the Government Food and Hygiene Inspector!"

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

Safety Barriers

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

Scary Halloween ICD-10 codes.

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

Fire door.

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

"I suppose it was bound to come to this."

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."