Health And Safety Comedian Gifts

Secure Your Ladder

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

"I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?"

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol weight, and self importance are all too high.'

'Time for your One-a-Year vitamin supplement pill, dear.'

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

Athlete

"The sleeping pills take time to work. Don't expect results overnight."

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

'If his chart dips down to 15 here, he'll start emitting a hellish, non-stop squeal.'

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

Floor Wet When Slippery

Dual Airbags

Your cough IS unproductive, but I'm more concerned by your unmotivated sneezes, your apathetic earache, and your sniffles' overall lack of ambition.

Spawn of Satan on board.

"I'm just messing with you."

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'