Safety Comedian Gifts

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

Playground by and for kids.

Little did Billy know, he was about to walk into an open manhole. . . luckily he wasn't the first.

'You won't be nedding the hard hat, as we'll be making the entire structure out of jelly'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Computer cables as fire ladder.

'Sorry. Health 'n' Safety rule. No water in the pool in case someone drowns.'

I brake for EVERYTHING.

The self-breathalyzer.

Athlete

"You don't need a mask, I filled it with hand sanitizer." (man swimming in a pool, inviting in another person who is wearing a mask)

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Safety Barriers

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

'I baked it especially for you.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.