Safety Humor Aficionado Gifts

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Always pay attention to work safety regulation!

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

Fire door.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"It's called being preemptive."

"Fasten your seat belt."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

Drop dead gorgeous

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

"You see - this machine can cut your work force in half!"