Safety Humor Aficionado Pillows

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Always pay attention to work safety regulation!

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"It's called being preemptive."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"Fasten your seat belt."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

Drop dead gorgeous

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

'I baked it especially for you.'

"You see - this machine can cut your work force in half!"