Safety Satire Aficionado Pillows

"As a matter of fact it is a fish bowl."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"It's called being preemptive."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"Fasten your seat belt."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

Drop dead gorgeous

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

'I baked it especially for you.'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"You see - this machine can cut your work force in half!"

Living life dangerously 2010.