Safety Satirists Pillows

'Fetch help quickly...The accident book's fallen on him!

"Lose the seatbelt, Jason! You're embarrassing the entire family."

'You've over simplified the accident book.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Safety Barriers

Fire door.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

Security at the Smaller Airports

'I baked it especially for you.'

Athlete

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Stuffed animal head falls on man.

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

Living life dangerously 2010.

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"