Safety Satire Aficionado Gifts

"As a matter of fact it is a fish bowl."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Safety Barriers

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"It's called being preemptive."

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"Fasten your seat belt."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

Drop dead gorgeous

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

"You see - this machine can cut your work force in half!"

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

The guardrail brings it up to code.

Security at the Smaller Airports

'I baked it especially for you.'

Living life dangerously 2010.

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'