Safety Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Dry floor. Go nuts.

Safety Barriers

Caution Falling Rocks

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Fire door.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Athlete

Security at the Smaller Airports

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'I baked it especially for you.'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Living life dangerously 2010.

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).