Safety Humor Gifts

'I'll just light my pipe before I find the gas leak.'

Warning! Don't leave your crocodile unanttended at any time!

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Safety Barriers

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'I baked it especially for you.'

Athlete

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Climb to Safety in Case of Alien Invasion

Living life dangerously 2010.

Security at the Smaller Airports

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).