Safety Humor Gifts

'I'll just light my pipe before I find the gas leak.'

Warning! Don't leave your crocodile unanttended at any time!

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Safety Barriers

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Fire door.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

Security at the Smaller Airports

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Climb to Safety in Case of Alien Invasion

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'I baked it especially for you.'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Athlete

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Living life dangerously 2010.

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).