Safety Satire Lover Gifts

'Congratulations, you've just initiated the first risk assessment accident report. . .'

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"This accident report must be really old, unless he really was 'attacked by ye wilde boare' in the cold meats aisle."

'Management is very concerned about staff dafety.'

Econo Air-bag

Crash Test Dummy denied insurance.

Crash-test angel

"Whew! I didn't think we'd find a parking spot."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Safety Barriers

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'I baked it especially for you.'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Security at the Smaller Airports

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Athlete

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Living life dangerously 2010.