Safety Satire Fan Gifts

Job Safety - Lunch.

"Since I told Colin about a few of the risks of working in an office environment he's refusing to come out from hiding in the filing cabinet."

The life of a crash-test dummy

Car all battered at the back with a sticker in rear window - 'No baby or small person on board'.

'There is a disclaimer for injuries incurred while wearing the Bungee Bra.'

Safety Barriers

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Fire door.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

Do not pass.

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Living life dangerously 2010.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'I baked it especially for you.'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"