Safety Satire Fans Gifts

Acme Bowling Balls: Stay Back 200 Feet! Not Responsible For Striking Windshields!

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Safety Barriers

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Fire door.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

Athlete

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

'I baked it especially for you.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Living life dangerously 2010.

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).

Crash Testing Clown Car.

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'They say these vans are unsafe when fully loaded, so we're only going to allow 50 of you in at a time.'