Safe Sex Satirist Pillows

'Just the one, thanks.'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

New arrival

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Fire door.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'The sun lounge book of melanomas.'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

"What's a condom for?"

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Cautious photojournalist.

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

'. . . You seem to have a strange obsession with shyness and safe sex. . .'

'I baked it especially for you.'

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

Living life dangerously 2010.

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).