Service Snob Gifts

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"Nap time."

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"I'm not saying the lamb is good, but nobody's complained about it yet."

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

Fiction book sales.

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

Maid.

'Wow! That's probably the best Kyrgyzstani neo-realist horror-comedy crossover I've seen so far this year.'

'Great Books' 'Good Books' 'Trash'

"24 hour service. Yes, that's how long it takes us to prepare your pub lunch."

"Don't you just hate Love Island?"

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

More Vacuous Reality TV S**e

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

"Make me look like more of a people person, you paint-slinging nitwit."

Please take a number.. '.E = MC2?'

"We've become so diversified these days...let me check to see if we have anything at all to do with customer service."