Service Snob T-Shirts

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Nap time."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

Limbo services: 'what gives...this line hasn't moved for hours!'

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"I'm not saying the lamb is good, but nobody's complained about it yet."

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

Fiction book sales.

Maid.

'Great Books' 'Good Books' 'Trash'

"24 hour service. Yes, that's how long it takes us to prepare your pub lunch."

'Wow! That's probably the best Kyrgyzstani neo-realist horror-comedy crossover I've seen so far this year.'

"Don't you just hate Love Island?"

More Vacuous Reality TV S**e

"We've become so diversified these days...let me check to see if we have anything at all to do with customer service."

Please take a number.. '.E = MC2?'

Snob Vision

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

'Black dots indicate actual creative involvement.'