Seat Snob T-Shirts

'Excuse me, I think you're sitting in my seat.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'Oh man, every time.'

'New money or old money?'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"YouTube's one thing, but cats will never make it on the big screen."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

"Do you have a seat in business with a view of economy?"

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"I keep asking you for ideas, Hibblemeyer, and you keep drawing blanks."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

Fiction book sales.

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

'Wow! That's probably the best Kyrgyzstani neo-realist horror-comedy crossover I've seen so far this year.'

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'