Seniors With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"We would have helped you up sooner but we thought you were one of those fancy sideways racing bikes."

'Don't you think you are taking this qualifying for a bus pass thing a bit too far?'

'I told you not to lean on the door Ronald!'

Old Pickpockets - 'Get ready to fall over.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

'Did someone say something?'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

Old man has a walking stick case.

Life begins at 60

"How's your memory?"

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'You are always living in the past!'

'It's my prostate.'