Seniors With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

"We would have helped you up sooner but we thought you were one of those fancy sideways racing bikes."

'Don't you think you are taking this qualifying for a bus pass thing a bit too far?'

'I told you not to lean on the door Ronald!'

Old Pickpockets - 'Get ready to fall over.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

James Bond: Senior Years.

'...makes a change from the zimmer frames!'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

Old man has a walking stick case.

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'Did someone say something?'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Life begins at 60

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."