Senior With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'Lemons with indigestion tablets concealed inside... do you know anything about this, sir?'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

A senior moment.

James Bond: Senior Years.

David Blaine, Age 60

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'Did someone say something?'

Old man has a walking stick case.

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

Life begins at 60