Senior Humor Aficionado Pillows

"Yes, when I was young, I was a golden retriever: I'm more like a silver retriever now..."

"Ernie!! Watch the speed bu....."

"My back goes out more often than I do..."

"I'd like to buy you a drink, beautiful... but I forgot my wallet in my pants and my pants at home."

"I'm promoting an exiting new concept in leisure experience.2

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Old man has a walking stick case.

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

'Did someone say something?'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'

You know your getting old when you have to put on your reading glasses to trim your eyebrows...

Life begins at 60