Senior Humor Lover Pillows

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"Turning right in four miles. Must turn on blinkers now."

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'Apparently she's got half a mind.'

Old man has a walking stick case.

'Did someone say something?'

'Er...have I just been or am I just going?'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"So you admit to flashing your new teeth at pretty ladies?"

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

A senior moment.

David Blaine, Age 60

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Can you spare a cup, for the bottom of my bird cage?'